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As I was wiping the semi-dried come off of my face and blouse, I suddenly realized what I had just done.I dropped to my knees, put my forehead down on the front of the toilet seat and start to sob. I cried for several minutes.As the tears began to subside, my head still on the toilet seat, I thought about what I had become. I was a filthy, dirty, whore. I deserved to be sucking strangers off on a piss-stained gas station restroom floor. This is what I am now.I eventually got up, straightened my clothes and cautiously walked out of the restroom. There was nobody outside, so I quickly walked to my car and drove back home.*****I couldn't sleep again last night, tossing, turning and nodding off several times only to jerk back awake a few minutes later. I called in sick again. It's Friday, so I have three days to get my act together.I can't go on like this. I can hardly think of anything but sex any more. I can't concentrate at work, can't sleep. Something has to change before my life. However, I am a loyal husband and so far, I have not gone cheated on my wife by having sex with any other woman. But, that does not mean that I do not desire to sleep with other women. After all, I am a man – with unsatisfied sex drive – so naturally, I lust for being with some of the women who I know and to whom I am attracted.But again, these are women who know me and my family in some way or the other – through friendship or any other relationship. So, it is not possible for me to fuck them for real. That is why I satisfy myself by fantasizing about having sex with them.Another way to satisfy my sexual urge is by watching porn. But I must confess that I don’t like English porn much because it seems very fake and there are no feelings involved between the two persons fucking. Instead, I prefer to watch Indian porn which seems more real with close intimacy between two partners.However, sadly, the amount of good quality porn on the internet is very small and due to this, I feel that.
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